Pope Catholic, film at 11.

Gates says U.S. not winning in Iraq.

When pressed, Gates further confirmed that the sky was blue and that a bear does, in fact, shit in the woods.

I vote for face time with Keith Olbermann.

Anonymous C-Span Caller gets three segments on MSNBC.

MEDIA ALERT: The Witch was on C-SPAN two days ago and criticized the entire government! Email at thewitchnextdoor at gmail to arrange your exclusive interview, would ya? Please have all-kosher snacks in the green room.

Or, you know, a Harlequin novel...

Which book will America base its values on? The Bible or the Koran?

If the bloody book had any relevance, you would have expected Bush to swear in on 1984.

Personally, if I ever take public office, I will be sworn in on a full stack of Sailor Moon manga.

It has just as much chance of happening.

HHS is recommending that adults under 30 should not have sex if they are unmarried.

In other news, the Environmental Protection Agency is recommending that people pee in the bushes and stop using electricity entirely.

The hypocrisy of Ann Coulter's statement.

Everyone's talking about what Ann Coulter said and how disgusting it was or wasn't. But the underlying hypocrisy in her words seems to be overlooked by everyone.

Please note that on the Today show, she put forward the concept of "liberal infallibility." She is miffed at the Jersey Girls because she feels is not allowed to refute their points without being told she's attacking their legitimacy.

But is there one word that she has said to refute their points? Where is her experience of doing so?

ALL she is doing is attacking their legitimacy. Talking about whether they are really grieving or not, whether they seek publicity.

It's supremely absurd that the Right is claiming it is being prevented from making anything but ad hominem attacks, when all along it has been making nothing but ad hominem attacks!

"You're forcing me to be mean because you call me mean even when I'm nice!"

Try being nice one more time. Honestly. Just try it.

A Right-Wingers’ Guide to Left-Wing Wackos

This was inspired by a sudden idea last night that someone should make a Left-Wing Heroes counterpoint to the chickenhawk cards. Since that would be too derivative, I decided to take this tack instead. What do you think?

A Right-Wingers’ Guide to Left-Wing Wackos

Russ Feingold: Wacko who wants to censure Bush. How dare he take such a radical stand and advocate such a drastic step that does nothing? You can tell he’s doing it for political gain because of all the other lawmakers who are jumping on his bandwagon. Two whole co-sponsors!

Jack Murtha: Wacko who wants to cut and run from Iraq. What the hell does he know about combat? Also, he is going around condemning our Marines before they have been tried. Innocent until proven guilty, Murtha! Keep it up and we’ll lock you in Gitmo! (BTW, OJ was totally guilty.)

Michael Moore: Fat Hollywood liberal. Obesity, after all, like being rich, is only allowed if you are as dirty with your money as possible. Rich people and fat people are not allowed to be ethical. We are fairly sure that he wants to run for President someday. Hell, we’d nominate Mel Gibson.

John Kerry: Hopeless flip-flopper. He voted for the $87 billion before he voted against it. BTW, Senate Republicans should refuse to vote for any immigration legislation, no matter how important, unless Tancredo’s felony provision is preserved. Not that this has anything to do with what we just said about Kerry’s flip-flopping.

Al Gore: Screechy and unhinged or flat and boring, depending on the day. Also, have we mentioned he thinks he invented the Internet?

Al Franken: Absolutely the most far-out left-wing wacko on liberal radio. We can’t bring ourselves to listen to that crap. See also Randi Rhodes, Mike Malloy.

Randi Rhodes, Mike Malloy: Who?
Also, have we mentioned how far-out Al Franken is?

Harry Reid: He’s neither screechy nor far-out, so he must be corrupt. Quick, someone find something on him. C’mon.


Please add your own.

It's not blame. It's not surrender.

The madness over Haditha has got me thinking. Always a bad idea, I know.

But all joking aside, the Haditha story has caused something of a split even among my lefty buddies. There are two camps: the "No, we don't excuse murder, blame it on the murderers" camp, and the "It's the higher-ups' fault for getting them into such an awful situation that they snapped" camp. In a sort of sad way, this echoes a lot of the right/left split on the issues of our day. People who blast Bush's response to Katrina are blaming Bush for a hurricane. And redeploying is the same as surrendering to the terrorists. And suggesting that the US's foreign policy has caused a bad situation is the same as blaming the US for terrorism. And saying that the US should adjust its policy in the Middle East is the same as giving in to Osama bin Laden's demands. Which is unacceptable not because of the demands, but because they come from Osama bin Laden.

Imagine you are a nursery school teacher and you have left your blackboard pointer on a desk within easy reach. One of your students gets hold of it and pokes another child, making him cry and disrupting the whole class. Do you punish that child, or do you put the pointer on a high shelf, where the children can't get to it?

You wouldn't have to choose one or the other. You'd do both, right?

You hold the malefactor accountable for his actions, but you also adjust the situation so the problem is less likely to happen again.

What if the child is particularly precocious, and the next day says to you, "Ah HA! You put the pointer on a high shelf, which means that you give in. If I can reach it, it's OK for me to poke people with, is that what you're saying?"

Have you really given in? What would you say to that child?

Why can't we hold people accountable for their actions, and at the same time create conditions where they are less likely to do them? When someone has done something wrong, do we never change our own behavior in response? What about when the problem behavior is increasing?

What kind of children would we raise if we refused to change our parenting tactics in the face of an obstinate problem? What kind of drivers would we be if we plowed ahead to spite the drunk driver weaving in front of us?

It's not about surrendering or not surrendering. It's about moving forward. You can do that and still place the blame where it belongs. We do it every day.

A new toy.

I discovered StripCreator today.

So now I am a self-absorbed cartoonist as well as a self-absorbed blogger.

Presenting Witchcomix!